Friday, October 30, 2009

News 2

Continuing a track record of exciting politics, Haiti has ousted their fifth prime minister in five years for reasons that are unknown. After a nine hour debate, during which time Prime Minister Michele Pierre-Louis was apparently not mentioned, she was given the boot. Figuratively speaking of course since she wasn't at the Senate meeting. What? Not there? Well the senators spent a significant amount of time accusing each other of carrying weapons and stomping out of the room. They complain it's always harder to 'let loose' with the prime minister hanging around.

Interrupting several hours of no aviation disasters, the industry said, 'Wait, more news!' and a crash immediately occurred between a military aircraft and helicopter. Effective immediately the FAA has issued some memos.

  1. 'No news is good news'.
  2. Seriously. 'There is such a thing as bad publicity.'
  3. Aircraft only permitted to touch another solid object while landing. Contact with buildings, the ocean or other aircraft is strictly prohibited.

In yet another heartwarming international business story, reports have surfaced of visits to the U.S. by Russian tycoon Oleg Deripaska, graciously arranged by the FBI. Deripaska needed to calm some investor confidence shaken due to his lack of a Visa. He doesn't have a Visa because he's suspected of Mafia connections. But he says these allegations are just part of a smear campaign by the U.S. When asked if he said that just because that's what Russia always says, he said, 'No.' The FBI later released a statement defending their actions: 'Deripaska does business here and everyone in Russia is... you know... I mean... it's not like we can just not talk to Russians.'

1 comment:

  1. wow. hahaha good post. I still love your news briefings!

    ReplyDelete