Wednesday, August 1, 2012

DIY : Distraction

Have you ever met a significant other's family for the first time and asked yourself, 'How could I add anxiety to this meeting?' or 'How could I make 'Meet the Parents' seem comfortable?' or 'What are some things I could do to test the emergency preparedness of those present at this gathering?'

Well I have an idea! Get yourself bitten by the family dog!

It's helpful if an outdoor activity such as, say, Botchi ball is initiated and some kids across the street are lighting fireworks. Many dogs are afraid of fireworks and will be put in one of the cars in the driveway. Reach in the car to pet the terrified, trembling dog looking at you with a slightly crazed expression. The dog will surely bite you.

Well done. At this point you can only wish for the great earth to swallow you immediately. Any animal handling credibility you had will have vanished, especially if you deal with shock and sudden injuries by freaking out and nearly fainting. You may ask yourself if there was a definable moment when you disregarded the body language of the terrified, trembling dog looking at you with with a slightly crazed expression and decided, 'I absolutely must pet this dog right now.'

But whatever. Don't let this get you down. Mission accomplished!