Just eat it.

Oh my gosh so I went on a diet you guys. When I was last in Iowa I took a book called The Flat Belly Diet from my parents’ bookshelves. I didn’t do this because I thought my belly wasn’t flat, I took it because (here, folks, is the true reason people like diets:) it told me exactly what to do.  People don’t need special diets; they just want precise meal planning instructions. This is why people ‘finish’ their diets, get overwhelmed with the chaos of meal preparation and then are always relieved to say ‘I’m going on a diet’ even if they pretend to be exasperated.

Person A: I’m going on a diet. *sigh*

Person B: Well, it’s true, you’re no Martha Stewart.

I’m no exception. I’ve rotated between the same 5 lunches and dinners since I’ve been responsible for feeding myself, one of which is chips and salsa. So a book that did all the thinking sounded like perfection.

The trip to the grocery store was challenging. I have never looked for ginger root, mushrooms, squash, turkey breast cutlets or mint leaves.

My first question was, ‘what do I do if I can’t find stuff?’

Nothing. As it turns out I didn’t care that much about following the diet super closely. I also didn’t write down the four day shopping list, instead opting to carry the heavy hard cover book around the store, trying to hold it without losing my place while putting produce in bags. I think I was trying not to take full credit for my shopping cart by giving people a chance to connect the dots (‘Look at all the varied items in that cart, how does she know she know what to buy?  Oooooh she has the Flat Belly Diet book, that’s cool’).

My favorite part about the Flat Belly Diet is the Sassy Water.  Oh yes. Sassy Water. It contains ginger root, lemon, cucumber and mint leaves and is quite refreshing.

On my second day of the Flat Belly Diet I realized the book had a sense of humor. Lunch was a piece of rolled up turkey, (ok honestly WTF? A piece of rolled turkey? Not an entrée. Is rolling it supposed to make us think we’re eating more?) string cheese, cherry tomatoes and Sassy Water. This, clearly being a snack, was treated accordingly (i.e. it was followed by lunch).

After the second day I had some other stuff going on and forgot about the diet. Until I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner one night and took out the book again. I made tilapia, green beans and roasted red potato!  It was probably the most balanced meal I’ve ever prepared, and it was delicious.

FBD is supposed to be a 21 day plan and it will probably take about 6 months to get through it. Which I think is fine. I’ve already bought 14 ingredients for the first time ever and prepared 3 healthy new dishes thanks to this easy as pie book. I’m really pleased with myself.

Arts week

I had another great arts week. Great arts weeks are never planned, they just happen. Like finding the love of your life, you can't look for a great arts week. They just pop up when you least expect it. In some ways they're better than finding the love of your life.  Questions like, "Is this the love of my life? How sure are we? If only they had different parents. Should we take a break to be sure? Why do they insist on saying 'will you borrow me this' instead of the correct 'will you lend me that'?" cannot be applied to arts weeks.

On Wednesday I went to Hay Fever at the Guthrie Theatre. It was hilarious show, I laughed a lot, and my cheeks hurt from smiling. Hay Fever isn't Shakespeare or high art, but it's fantastic comedic writing and all around great fun. Judith Bliss was the character highlight, a recently retired actress whose kids call her 'darling'. She's an expert drama queen, the kind of person you watch on stage and think, 'I need to know someone like this.'

Friday I went to the James Sewell Ballet. I like JSB. They can always be counted on for someting creative and different.
I went with a group called Theoroi which goes to shows and then meets with the artists/directors/someone related to the show afterwards so you feel like a REAL INSIDER. After the performance we went to the JSB rehearsal space for drinks and apps (I ate a very unballerina-like number of macaroons) and a Q&A with James Sewell and the dancers. The best part was one of the dancers talking about the second part of the show: 'We were changing stuff at 6:30 today. I had no idea what was going on.'

Saturday I went to Madame Butterfly. I forgot how terrible this story is* but Kelly Kaduce's (Butterfly) singing and acting was really moving. I actually almost cried and I always try not to be that pretentious person that is 'just soooo moved by the beauty of opera' that they can't control themselves (people who cry at the opera aren't always pretentious but it's a fine line I'm nervous about and therefore always lean more towards appearing to be an emotional black hole).

*To clarify, the story isn't badly told, it's just a terrible story - Pinkerton is a grade A jerk.