Just eat it.

Oh my gosh so I went on a diet you guys. When I was last in Iowa I took a book called The Flat Belly Diet from my parents’ bookshelves. I didn’t do this because I thought my belly wasn’t flat, I took it because (here, folks, is the true reason people like diets:) it told me exactly what to do.  People don’t need special diets; they just want precise meal planning instructions. This is why people ‘finish’ their diets, get overwhelmed with the chaos of meal preparation and then are always relieved to say ‘I’m going on a diet’ even if they pretend to be exasperated.

Person A: I’m going on a diet. *sigh*

Person B: Well, it’s true, you’re no Martha Stewart.

I’m no exception. I’ve rotated between the same 5 lunches and dinners since I’ve been responsible for feeding myself, one of which is chips and salsa. So a book that did all the thinking sounded like perfection.

The trip to the grocery store was challenging. I have never looked for ginger root, mushrooms, squash, turkey breast cutlets or mint leaves.

My first question was, ‘what do I do if I can’t find stuff?’

Nothing. As it turns out I didn’t care that much about following the diet super closely. I also didn’t write down the four day shopping list, instead opting to carry the heavy hard cover book around the store, trying to hold it without losing my place while putting produce in bags. I think I was trying not to take full credit for my shopping cart by giving people a chance to connect the dots (‘Look at all the varied items in that cart, how does she know she know what to buy?  Oooooh she has the Flat Belly Diet book, that’s cool’).

My favorite part about the Flat Belly Diet is the Sassy Water.  Oh yes. Sassy Water. It contains ginger root, lemon, cucumber and mint leaves and is quite refreshing.

On my second day of the Flat Belly Diet I realized the book had a sense of humor. Lunch was a piece of rolled up turkey, (ok honestly WTF? A piece of rolled turkey? Not an entrée. Is rolling it supposed to make us think we’re eating more?) string cheese, cherry tomatoes and Sassy Water. This, clearly being a snack, was treated accordingly (i.e. it was followed by lunch).

After the second day I had some other stuff going on and forgot about the diet. Until I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner one night and took out the book again. I made tilapia, green beans and roasted red potato!  It was probably the most balanced meal I’ve ever prepared, and it was delicious.

FBD is supposed to be a 21 day plan and it will probably take about 6 months to get through it. Which I think is fine. I’ve already bought 14 ingredients for the first time ever and prepared 3 healthy new dishes thanks to this easy as pie book. I’m really pleased with myself.