Monday, March 28, 2011

A Decidedly Non-expert Car Review

Last weekend I went to the Twin Cities Auto Show.  Below is a review chock full of opinions based solely on appearance.

From the side and back the Buick Regal is a classy car, but the front reminds you it's still your grandparent's slightly boring sedan.  A fact that rubs in the horrifying realization you were just admiring a Buick.

The Nissan electric demonstrates how far the auto world has to go in beautifying the design of electric cars.  The Leaf embodies extremely advanced technology and will compel owners to put paper bags over their heads when driving.

There was once a Honda Civic heyday.  All the 2011 designs draw on how Honda looked before that time when it was only recognized as a reliable import.  If you looked up 'Meh.' in the dictionary you would see this car.   
Were all the designers on some kind of union holiday? Send them to WI where they're putting an end to such nonsense. Oooooh yes, inflammatory political statement in a car review.  I know little about unions, but if they're responsible for the Honda, I'm adamantly against them.

BTW the above also applies to all the VW models I can remember.  

Whoa! Germany, your precious little VW just got compared to a Honda. 

Things I did like:

The KIA hybrid.  Fun!  Never mind it probably has the power of an electric wheelchair. 

Keep in mind I also know little about reading 'specs' so the above assessment of the KIA's capabilities could, for better or worse, be untrue.

The Audi A7

 Making a hatchback look sophisticated is every designer's nemesis, so anyone who achieves the impossible deserves respect.  (props also to Porsche in this department, and yes their hatchback happened awhile ago, but I didn't go to an auto show that year).

The Cooper Countryman. 


This is painful because I was abrasively against it originally, but this is one of the cutest little SUVs ever!  My concern is Mini becoming a whatever brand, like Starbucks - starting off elite but obtainable only to later descend into the reviled abyss of mass production. They should get rid of the goofy extended mini and stop with the regular Cooper and Countryman.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Mind cleanse

I have had enough of trashy television.  Specifically, reality television.


Going forward only TV one would watch with a virtuous grandmother is allowed which will mean a radical departure from Housewives, Kardashians, JerseyS and all other ridiculous garbage.  After a shameful diet of far too much of the above, I have had enough and am taking a stand for quality, good etiquette and America before Survivor.


Plus, Fact As Old As Time:

After you watch some shows you feel like this:

And after other shows you feel like this:

I'm not against modern television and seriously enjoy reality TV.  Since its inception, the captivating appeal of watching people yell at each other has been named the first Intangible Wonder of the World.  Spectacularly entertaining examples of human disaster.    However, sometimes it is good to look away from the train wreck. 

I've DVRd about 8 episodes of I Love Lucy and my goal is to last the month of April.  Will all this wholesomeness be too sappy?  Probably.  Little House on the Prairie can be sickeningly sweet.

But not as sickeningly sweet as Shirley Temple.  I absolutely cannot stand Shirley Temple.  She makes me feel like the cat and I'm only watching stuff that makes me feel like the baby.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Good moods

There are several things making me very happy right now.

1.  The girl scout cookies I just bought.

These are probably the best cookies in the world and I resisted buying some twice before giving in today.  I am not planning to share.  Someone else who sits across from me at work bought some and did offer to share with everyone in our row.  I turned up my radio and pretended to be especially busy for several minutes.

2.  La traviata

This is one of my favorite operas.  It's easy to listen to and doesn't make you squirmy or impatient for intermission wine.  It's making me especially happy right now because I'm going to Minnesota Opera's opening night performance tomorrow.

3. Museums
Nerd ALERT.  At this moment the gods of history and art, may they live forever, are smiling upon the Twin Cities with glorious blessings of cool museum exhibits.

George Washington: Was Awesome at the Minnesota History Center
    Yes, fine, the actual title is Discover the Real George Washington: New Views from Mount Vernon.

Tutankhamun: The Golden King and the Great Pharaohs at the Science Museum of Minnesota.  Who doesn't love mummies?

Titian and the Golden Age of Venetian Painting: Masterpieces from the National Galleries of Scotland at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts

4. Happy Hour
Meritage is one of my favorite restaurants in St. Paul and they just started hosting a happy hour.  And by 'just' I mean 'several months ago'.  Yes, it's true, sometimes I move slowly, but I'm finally going tonight and am excited about delicious wine and apps.