Camping: What are we doing. What, what, what are we doing.

This summer I went to Tuscarora Lake in the Boundary Waters for a weekend. Like all moments without Netflix, the trip fostered space for meaningful pause and reflection. Namely, camping is pretty funny.

Consider woodland critters scampering about the forest.

Hang on I'm right behind you, dear animals! Please wait whilst I rage walk this portage, steer the canoe in a precise ‘S’ pattern*, fall in mud, kill bugs, burn myself, and sweat like a horse.

This is the Boundary Waters for people. We spend hours carrying like 60 pounds of gear PER PERSON to spend 2.5 days outdoors in a moderate degree of comfort enjoying the view and illusions of self-sufficiency.

Wait, you might say, I have tons of wilderness skills like navigating by stars and skinning buffalo and making clotheslines out of fishing string. Isn’t that cool.

Absolutely. I’m 100%, unreservedly impressed by all such accomplishments. Take me camping with you.

But here is an abbreviated version of Jack London's Call of the Wild**.

-          Wolf: Hi, I'm a little wolf running around with some friends. We're going to catch a rabbit with no tools or assistance. It’s fine if there’s rain, snow, or someone falls in a lake because we have fur automatically. We're all like 1 years old.

Person: Hi, I'm 37, here with a professional guide and a bunch of friends who loaned me a tent, sleeping bag, and coat. I'm nervous about the little propane cooker things.

-          Moose baby: I’m a moose born an hour ago. Watch me race like the wind!

Person baby: Let me get back to you in like ten years.

Humans are the most helpless beings on earth. Thank heavens for top notch brains or we would’ve died out in hours.

The trip was fun! Here are pictures.

 

We saw the northern lights!!
Photo credit: not me. Used without permission.

Photo credit: still not me.
It's not like I was going to get up early enough to take this.

Photo credit: Can we just agree what's important is appreciating the Boundary Waters.

I didn't take any of these either.

 

*I actually did sort of learn how to steer a canoe!!

**this abbreviated version is completely made up and has nothing to do with Call of the Wild.

Pre-quarantine travels to Jordan

In the bold north of Minnesota, the weather in January is considered especially heinous. Citizens who leave the region in these dark times are numerous, stumbling their way through snow and ice in search of light, greenery, and the outdoors.

These are my stories.

I mean I guess one story with some different parts.

It's about going to Jordan in January. 

Here are some facts about Amman: It's a city covering tons of hills (seven) where people have lived for ages and ages (since 7250 BC) and on which have been bestowed numerous names (Ain Ghazal > Ammon > Philedelphia > Amman). During the medieval/post-medieval period everyone accidentally forgot about it, but then some Circassian immigrants settled there in 1867, and it's been a city ever since.

                                 

                                       Snow on the way to Petra!


Petra was a very successful trading post for the Nabateans so the Greeks invaded in 312 BC. They weren't successful, but then there were other invasions and an earthquake, and by the 8th century AD it was basically abandoned. But not completely, many of the Bdol tribe lived there until the 1980s.


Other fun facts about Petra -- It's huge! In my Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade informed ignorance I thought the treasury was the whole thing! But it's not! The Treasury is just the beginning! Are you satisfied with just the beginning of Petra?!?! No! Do the whole TWO HOUR hike to the end to see the monastery and other miscellaneous amazing views.

The camels and donkeys are one of Petra's most important parts.

The Dead Sea. Here is a Dead Sea tip! Swim on your stomach and flutter kick your legs. This makes you look super funny because the water is so dense, causing general hilarity and merriment. Cover yourself in mud of dubious mineral quality. Find free mud along the shore, or pay to have it done for you.

Also make time to swim in the Red Sea. Go to the Berenice Beach Club near Aqaba and rent snorkeling equipment. There's a beach section for partying and one for being calm. And a pool in case you drink too much salt water.



The Wadi Rum is an adventure. Hop in the back of a Jeep and get carried away by rugged feelings of reckless freedom before stopping for a stay in the Bedouin style camps where you sleep in a bed and the guys running things cook this great dinner in a hole in the ground. Everyone smokes shisha and eats together and then there's a dance party with traditional Jordanian dances that devolves into the Macarena and YMCA.

The only disappointment wrecking havoc within my heart is a failure to see Jerash, a huge city of ruins north of Amman. Take this torch upon thyself now and correct this mistake (I'll be joining you).