News Bulletin 103

Last week Obama took a first step towards friendship with Cuba by reinstating diplomatic ties with the country. Immediately the world broke into song and dance, but Congress is advising everyone ‘not to break out the BFF necklaces just yet’ because they might block a full lifting of the embargo, prohibiting most travel, tourism and trade. The Cuban government wishes to remind everyone that, ‘We still definitely  Communism.”

Sony Pictures made some comedy about a plan to assassinate North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un. This made N. Korea angry so they (allegedly) hacked into Sony pictures, sent death threats, and claim the U.S. government produced the film. Then North Korea lost internet access and everyone is wondering if the U.S. shut it down. Washington is weighing its overall response to the hacking, conflicted between evidence incriminating N. Korea and astonishment that the country has internet access.

Falling gas prices have drivers everywhere in a panicked tizzy of road trips and SUV purchases. It seems a principal reason for the decline is Saudi Arabia’s decision not to limit production in order to drive prices up again. Oil producers with troubled economies say everyone is conspiring to bankrupt them with cheap gas. American consumers are mainly concerned with the big picture, chronicling each cent by cent price drop with informative Facebook posts.

Lauren goes to Latin

This fall semester finds me auditing a Latin class. If I was any good at Latin this might be a little nerdy; however, I am terrible because I don't study and it's very difficult. In fact, many experts agree that the Latin language is impossible.

Did you know there are 44 different ways to spell Latin nouns?? It depends how you are using the noun grammatically in the sentence. I won't get into it so as not to bore you, but I could. For sure.

Here is a little story: Once upon a time some Latin studying took place at W.A. Frost. Frost had the perfect wine cellar basement in which to bring Latin books, realize Latin is impossible, and order another glass of wine.


There have been some fun tidbits along the way.

Have you ever heard the word defenestrate? It means to throw someone out of a window. Well, the Latin word for window is fenestra. How about that?!

Or have you ever said, 'Well at my alma mater we did this.'? Or are you a normal person and just say, 'Well at my school we did that'. Either way, alma means nourishing/kind/gracious and mater = mother. Obvious right? It's easy to miss at first, but once you know it's a total *facepalm* how did I not see that before.

Delere = to destroy or erase. 1678 years later we now have ----------------> delete

One more - magna cum laude. Magna: large (plural), cum: with, laude: praise. So something like: with big praises. That one is kind of cool, and we do say 'with high honors' sometimes which is sort of the same idea.


The class really has been a lot of fun. The professor loves talking about Latin and languages in general, and it's been a much needed review of direct/indirect objects, present participles, all the stuff you learn in 4th grade grammar, etc.

But in summary, while Latin is pretty neat, here is a fear that should no longer keep you up at night: Lauren saying stuff like, 'Actually, as one says in the Latin....' while wearing small glasses and a beret.

Because there is no way that could even happen!

At best, I may point something out as 'definitely Latin.'

Oh Anne!

 The other day at Anthropologie I was with a friend in the midst of some delightful books when all of a sudden there was a gasp, and there was one of the best stories of all time bound in the cutest cover. Faced with holding in our hands the equivalent preciousness of one thousand sleeping bunnies, we barely knew what to do with ourselves and nearly burst into tears. 

Admirable self-restraint limited me to a purchase of only one copy. There was another overcoming reach-for-the-tissues fit of joy when I realized I had an appropriately precious bookmark to use whilst reading. The collective adorableness of this whole episode was enough to make one explode into a well-arranged variety of garden flowers.

When I said I would l die without it, I did not think I would live to own it.

For a long time I was very opposed to Lululemon for the following reasons:

1)      it is too expensive

2)      people who wear Lululemon are annoying (Seriously. People are really obsessed with it and have a weird self-righteous attitude about how it’s magical and better than everything.)

Then in a moment of light headedness I went to their warehouse sale.

I kept grabbing stuff and thinking, ‘I need to own this’. There were a bunch of signs AND a DJ, saying ‘This stuff is not too expensive or annoying.’

Side note: The DJ was annoying. Let people shop in peace and quit causing stampedes by making announcements about the ‘$10 yoga mats in aisle 8’. Yes, I’m headed that way but not running only naturally walking faster than other people.

I bought a bunch of gifts and then a couple of things for myself, because you had to buy a certain number of items to get the special deal.

So I caved. Sue me. Wearing Lululemon stuff is like playing with puppies. It’s really cute and definitely magical. Any day you see me wearing Lulu is honestly the most comfortable day of my life.

I'm so fancy

I often think about how I should spend more time on my porch. So last Sunday I brought out some dinner and a book.Which was great. 

Until I looked at myself with caprese salad, pinot grigio and The Brothers Karamazov and wondered, “Is this too much?”

And yes.

Yes, it was. 

Things spiraled out of control when I considered it probably couldn’t be too much without fresh basil on the caprese salad. 

Thankfully it was only last week I learned how to correctly pronounce Karamazov.

One of the neighbors walked by and I quickly mentioned nothing can truly top Miller Lite and Spam.

News Bulletin 37

30 years of discussions have finally resulted in a really big contract between China and Russia saying Russia will supply China with a lot of natural gas. The deal took a long time because they couldn't agree on a final price. They still don't have a final price, but are definitely going to work that out later. Based on the past history of "two countries with exemplary conflict resolution records" analysts are confident everything will be fine.

The uproar over spying tactics continues as countries follow each other onto Bandwagon Pomp and Posturing and yell at one another over spying tactics. The yelling is widely expected to last because why would anyone stop spying if everyone else is doing it, and everyone contends they're not the one that started it in the first place.

Former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has been sentenced to three years in prison for embezzlement. His successor, Mohammed Morsi, is also on trial for some financial crimes. About 6 protestors have been paying attention to the trials, signaling the Egyptian courts are lagging behind public sentiments. Legal representatives for the two former presidents have advised them to pose as janitors and walk out of prison at some point.

Next time I'm leaving on a jet plane

Last weekend I took the Megabus to Chicago and it was eventful. The text chain between me and my sister is below. This is probably as close as I'll ever get to Twitter.

Me: The bus driver just announced, "Not too familiar with this route, might need some help, I'm being serious."

  - Sister: Uhhh is *name of person who doesn't understand directions* driving the bus? That makes me nervous. How do they not have super good GPS?

Eh, I think the multiple road signs saying go west to get to Twin Cities will help.

Some guy also started frantically yelling at the bus driver when she was getting on saying he "really needed to explain something." He didn't have a ticket so she wouldn't let him on.

I think I love the Megabus after all.

There are guys (adults) in front of me seriously trading video game cards.

   - Hahaha that's awesome! Pokemon?

Can't tell, they look more mythical.

   - Hmm game of thrones maybe. You should ask if you can get in on it and offer your art institute ticket or something.

Hahaha it is limited edition. Only so many were printed that day.

(later) Legit almost missed an exit.

Wait, DID miss an exit and almost missed the exit we just used to turn around.

   - Geez, first day driving?!

Evidently. Whoa she seriously has no idea where we're going. "Anybody know where we stop up here?" Now she's blaming construction.

  - Driving to MN from Chicago is the easiest drive ever.

It's like she showed up for work and found out she'd be driving a bus today.

She has two guys up there now with phones trying to help her figure out where to go.

  - Ok I would be a little mad.

To be fair it's the stop in Madison, not figuring out which way is west.

I didn't think it would be this bad.

"Sorry about that everyone, we're going to the correct stop."

    - Hahahaaha how does she not have a map and a GPS with the stops already programmed in

Because some fares are only $1.

Also the speaker system is super loud so every time she apologizes for these inconveniences we lose hearing for a few seconds.

Bus driver: Someone smells like liquor real strong.
Passenger: Oh that's hand sanitizer. Is that what you smell? (holds out hands)
Bus driver (smells hands): Huh-uh
Passenger: Oh you smelling straight liquor?
Bus driver (nods): uh-huh.

"I gotta get everybody off the bus cause I need air in the tires"

"We're about 20 minutes from the next stop... so I guess you can call your loved ones... God bless."

"Folks we are in white out conditions. I need everybody up top to watch for exit 234, cause ya'll can see a lot better than I can."

It was a great trip!

Overheard

Overheard snippets of conversation is one of the best things about public transportation.  For example, the following:

"I don't know. Everybody say she a man and take pills. Child, you need to cut all your hair."

Tribulations

Maybe you woke up this morning and wondered, 'Hmmm I wonder what Lauren is freaking out about today."

Well, I'll tell you. I am tired of packing lunches for work. Actually of getting ready for work days in general. Between work and getting ready for work I have two full time jobs.

WHAT???

Think about 5 work days. How many ziploc bags does it take to pack 5 days worth of lunches? About 37. It's a real hurdle to getting a meal together. Cumulatively it adds up to a lot of life and, considering our limited existence on earth, I think I've exceeded the amount of time one should spend opening, filling, and sealing bags.

Getting ready for a work day is a whole other conniption. Because it's never just the work day. First there's the lunch and ziploc bags you just packed. Which don't fit in a purse. Then after work activities must be considered. Like working out. This means a pair of work out shoes, etc. And in Minnesota, where snow never ends, you also need boots. So boots. Work shoes. AND workout shoes!

By the time everything is pulled together you're equipped for the next 16 hours with at least 3 bags containing food, tons of shoes, a change of clothes, books, ski equipment, a bunch of silverware from last week's lunches, general feelings of annoyance and a phone.

The solution is obvious. Robots could handle all of this easily because they don't experience boredom and their steel arms wouldn't get tired from carrying lots of bags.

Story from a Small Town

In high school my sister worked at a gas station. One day a guy came in and grabbed a newspaper. Then he went in to the restroom. After about 20 minutes he came out, placed the newspaper back on the rack, and left.

Monumental Art Fever

You know how sometimes there's an explosion of attention around a subject and it inspires all kinds of excitement and exploration? Sometimes people hit on these things by themselves and other times the media does it for us. In these situations I have a tendency to get carried away and become intensely interested in forensic science or military boot camps or Russian prisons. Netflix is to thank for many of these phases.

Well last week I got all wrapped up in Monument's Men.

It started when the Minneapolis Institute of Art put together a list of everything in the museum that was plundered by the Nazis. So visitors could go around with a map and find all the recovered art. It was a cool little treasure hunt and gave the visit more purpose than forlorn wandering thinking, 'ok, I guess we just look at everything...'

Second thing: a coworker and I went to a talk given by a curator at the Smithsonian who is a real live Monument's (wo)man. While she was in the army she helped save a bunch of art in the Iraqi art museum and a ton of Jewish artifacts hidden in the basement of the Iraqi secret police building. A talk you say? Yes, I went to a lecture. On a Friday night. And now I'm going to join the army and save all the art.

My coworker and I were so excited by the lecture... uhh... amazing art event that we literally ran to the nearest movie theater to see the Monument's Men movie. It was good. The only issue was you didn't really see the scale of the undertaking. It mostly showed the 6-7 super star actors running around finding all the art and you're sitting there worried about how in heaven's name they're going to move it. "Clooney just take the best painting and run! The Russians are coming!" In reality there were a few hundred Monument's Men. They're just not in the film.

A common question between movie and art talk was why it is/was worthwhile to save art when lives are at risk. Obviously neither source placed the two on equal footing, but both emphasized art is a cultural and historical record. What do we know about past civilizations due to art, both practical and ornamental? Think about Egyptian history without art. No pyramids, tombs, afterlife preparations, hieroglyphics. What would you have? Sand. There would just be a lot of sand.

Brasil Part 3

Praia do Forte

Hotel rooms had hammocks!

Salvador

Encouraging message

Site of a Michael Jackson music video

Church from Salvador's colonial days

Tiles from Portugal