Friday, May 25, 2012

I'll show you some zen

I recently discovered CorePower Yoga and for the past two weeks I've been going to classes before work.

Week One:

Functioning at 6am was an issue. Yoga in a heated room at such an unseemly hour made me angry. I had no inner peace and was really worried about my zen.  I regressed to a 'yoga cynic' status and spent most of class looking scornfully at people doing the loud yoga breathing. When the instructors said, 'release yourself to the experience' I wanted to cut holes in their lululemon outfits and tell them they were being dumb. (Everyone at CorePower wears lululemon like it's the only workout wear on the planet.)

Week Two:

Vast improvement. I'm back to my usual status of 'enjoyer of yoga workouts but no need to meditate like a madman'. When the instructor comes into the room and says, 'Hello yogis', I'm only a teeny bit annoyed by the yoga vernacular. I can't wait to 'set an intention for my practice' and towel off a disgusting amount of sweat. Throughout the day I mention to at least 3 people that I went to yoga that morning and have a lot of zen. Maybe not as much zen as the loud yoga breathers, but still, quite a bit of zen.

The change might be the calming effect of yoga and the power of  'leaving the outside world at the door and focusing on oneself in the present moment'.

It also might be that I'm used to getting up early, and everything mothers say about a regular sleep schedule is true.

Friday, May 18, 2012

News Bulletin

Big Spender
Greece continues to spend more money than they have and the latest word from left party leader Alexis Tsipras is that they intend to keep doing so. 'We're sort of tired of austerity.' he explains. Alexis goes on to say if Europe stops financing Greece, Greece can't make debt payments to Europe. Which, on second thought, 'wouldn't be all that bad because then we could use debt payment money for other stuff.' German Chancellor Angela Merkel keeps insisting prodigal children are only supposed to be allowed to rip off their parents once before taking responsibility for themselves and begging for forgiveness, 'That's what the Bible says.'

To Tell or Not to Tell
U.S. drone strikes are obviously not a secret but they are technically classified. Due to inundations of requests for more information about the strikes, officials are thinking about making more information less classified. Scholars say this could be a good way for the government to demonstrate drone strikes are handled carefully. When pressed for comment al Qaeda representatives voiced reserved support for the initiative saying, 'the American people may feel reassured by details about how carefully strikes are planned. Especially regarding who might be on the receiving end of a carefully planned strike.'

Towards the beginning of the month 29 Chinese fishermen were allegedly kidnapped by North Koreans demanding ransom. According to the Chinese media, China is in complete control of the situation and has been reassured by North Korea that the fishermen are in good health and some have even been sent back to China. Chinese people, however, are not convinced and are getting fed up with North Korea. A concerned bystander said, 'I get we're allies or whatever with [North Korea], but this isn't how you treat your only friend.'