Real Big Wordz

For Christmas my parents gave me a word of the day calendar.  I keep it on my desk at work and I love it.  Especially on days when I read the word and think, 'No.  That is absolutely not a word.', and then go to dictionary.com, confirm it is, and listen to the pronunciation. 

I expect to be crowned 'High Queen of Scrabble' in the near future.  As soon as I actually start playing scrabble.  If I don't my title will just be, 'Irritating and Pompous User of Words.'

Some favorites so far:

coeval adj: of the same or equal age, antiquity, or duration
The two friends' coeval head colds lead to an appalling amount of Kleenex consumption.

hermetic adj: difficult or impossible for one of ordinary knowledge to comprehend 2: airtight 3: resistant to outside influence
Betty's hermetic references to relationship etiquette led to many vaguely alarmed looks from Bob.

solipsism n: a theory holding that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the self is the only existent thing; also : extreme egocentrism
The baby displayed an alarming tendency towards solipsism, refusing to show any concern for the emotional health of the family cat.

otiose adj:  producing no useful result : futile 2: being at leisure : idle 3: lacking use or effect : functionless
The new Lazy-Boy with a concealed cooler in the armrest rendered Wilmer's beer koozie collection quite otiose.

tutoyer v: to address (someone), using the familiar forms of the pronoun "you"; address familiarly
Apparently this is a French word so I don't understand why it was included in an AMERICAN calendar. I also can't immediately think of of a way to use it in a sentence and am therefore being solipsisticly* American to hide my laziness.

 *cannot guarantee valid variation/use of solipsism

boffin n: chiefly British : a scientific expert; especially : one involved in technological research
Oh you wittle boffin you! Look at all the new wittle technological research you just researched. You did a good job! Oh yes you did!

News bulletin

U.K. chief media advisor Andy Coulson has resigned amid ongoing criticism for less than professional reporting tactics when editor of tabloid, News of the World.  Upon hearing their iconic tabloid was not the highest pinnacle of professional journalism, jaws of U.K. citizens have not stopped dropping and the country has plunged into total confusion.  Mr. Coulson claims he was unaware of shady tactics while at the helm of the paper, but alert individuals pressing the case do not believe him.

Former Hatian dictator Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier has gone back to Haiti after living in France for 25 years.  He left Haiti because people objected to his habits of embezzling, money laundering and murder. When asked why he would return to Haiti, officials said, 'We have absolutely no idea and cannot even come up with a reasonable guess'; and now he's charged with all those crimes again.  Close advisors to the former leader insist they did their best to explain: 1) definitions of 'earthquake' and 'amnesia' 2) cute nicknames' lack of legal importance.

Book and a movie

I read A Room with a View awhile ago, and then I watched the movie.  Both were hilarious and the movie is as good as the book.  It could even *scandalous statement* be watched before reading.  There's one reason for this: Ivory and Merchant adaptations are flawless.

A review I read said something about 'a critique on Victorian society' which I suppose is true, but who cares.  It's a charming, funny story; stuffy Edwardian manners at their best with plenty of self-righteous indignation over any infraction*.

*Infractions most frequently committed by the more rambunctious younger and/or Renaissance characters**. 

**I'm not being pretentious by mentioning 'Renaissance characters'.  That's what they are.  Sometimes it's good to use specific vocabulary. 

A few favourite* lines from a few favourite* parts (won't be funny until you watch/read, so do one of those):

Charlotte Bartlett: 'I would have given you the larger room Lucy, but I happen to know it belonged to the young man.'

Charlotte Bartlett: *cough* Oh no, don't trouble yourself.  It's not a cold.

Mr Emerson: There, look at that fat one!

*An American using English U.K. spelling is a little pretentious. 

Winter Wonderland

Some of the sufferings we undergo in Minnesota.


We thought this car in bad shape.

And then we saw this car.

All on our quest for wine to warm our spirits.

Snow fort!!

Snow seat and shelf

Fashion photo

I've followed the thesartorialist.blogspot.com for awhile now and love the styles from around the world almost as much as the photographer's apparent ability to get random people on the street to stop and pose.

This photo was from a couple weeks ago, aside from the hair I want to immitate this whole look. 

However, before seeing this picture I would have made fun of this skirt if I saw it by itself.  Probably with a snide comment about non-magazine readers from the early 90s. 

 

Now and then

Sometimes memories from childhood are belatedly realized to be hilarious.  These memories are always my favorites.

My young friends and I were quite cultured.  Our favorite movies were Shakespeare and Jane Austen adaptations and we read books like A Tale of Two Cities and Crime and Punishment at astonishingly young ages.  So, it was quite in character for us to find repeatedly belting out the opening song from Much Ado About Nothing to be acceptable middle school slumber party entertainment. 

After a riveting reenactment of an Anne Frank rescue, eating loads of delicious health food and jumping on one of those nice big trampolines, I vividly remember all of us laying in Macala's pop-up camper, set up in their barn, singing the following:

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh nor more;
Men were deceivers ever;
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never;
Then sigh not so,
But let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny;
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into. Hey nonny, nonny.

AND THEN VERSE TWO

Sing no more ditties, sing no mo,
Or dumps so dull and heavy;
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leavy.
Then sigh not so,
But let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into. Hey, nonny, nonny.

Evidently we were unreasonably disillusioned children. I say unreasonably because at that same slumber party I also recall an extensive conversation regarding nicknames for 'men' we 'liked'.  And by 'liked' I mean 'saw around town on a somewhat reliable basis'.

Kids' silliness is, without a doubt, one of the best things in life.

I'm a published author!!!

Today in the mail I received copies of ON Magazine containing two articles by me.  Seriously.  At the top they say: By Lauren Viner.  This is the first time I've been paid to write anything, it was fun and seeing something I wrote in print was exciting.

Until I re-read the articles.  You often hear about drama queen writers with pathetic, crippling insecurity being overly touchy about 'their work'.  Everyone around them is thinking, 'get over yourself, it's fine.'  Well I was not prepared for this.  Interviewing someone, summarizing what they say and organizing everything into a cohesive, educated sounding article was kind of hard.  I found doing things like making sure I was quoting accurately to be a hindrance on my writing style, which normally consists of making up stuff.  Also not helping is the fact the magazine was mailed to subsribers a week ago and I have yet to receive any type of recognition.  Like a book deal.

So the articles are ok, but I want to re-write them so they're more creative sounding.  Don't you wish you could read them?  Well you can't because after 3 fruitless minutes of trying to find a free online writers portfolio I stopped looking.  Another 2 minutes on Google docs were also unsatisfactory.

Plus I need some practice.  So when I write something good, maybe you can read that.  The magazine is fun and has some stuff online which can be seen here.