Resolutions: 2013

I LOVE New Year's Resolutions. Just thinking about them can be one of the most rewarding experiences you'll ever have. (HAHAHAA! Did you catch it?!? Adapted Zoolander quote.) January is an optimal time to make them, but New Year's Resolutions should also be made whenever a good one comes up. I don't remember what it was, but I'm pretty sure I established a New Year's Resolution in October 2012.

New Year's Resolutions must also be concrete and quantifiable. Setting resolutions to do things "more often" or to do things "better" invites delusions of accomplishment.

"I resolve to go to the gym more often in 2013! I already went once! I didn't go at all in 2012. Mission accomplished!" 

"No. You totally failed."

One (lifted from my sister-in-law's FB status) : read all the books I currently own that I haven't read yet. This is a big deal because I have a lot of those. As soon as I made this resolution I took action right away by rushing out and buying another book. This wasn't intentional, I was in a bookstore and noticed a book by the Oscar winning screenwriter of one of my favorite movies (On the Waterfront). There are laws of physics I would have violated by not buying it.

[The book is The Disenchanted by Budd Schulberg.]

Two: Send birthday and anniversary cards to friends and family. Immediate amendment : friends probably don't need to expect cards unless they live out of town. Baby steps here, folks. I get a head rush in stationery stores with well designed, high quality paper and pens, and will probably buy enough stock to lock myself into this resolution until death. A terrible salesperson could sell me paper products while I was standing in a burning building.

Three: Be able to look at a world map and enter the names of all countries. It was with much shame and glancing over my shoulder that I googled Trinidad and Tobago to confirm in what region of the world it lies while at work this past year. If I'm going to continue being amused by students who stop by my office and announce, "I feel like I want to study abroad sometime in maybe Europe, Italy or Rome, or what are some of the other options?", I need to international education myself a bit more.

Finally: Call immediate family once a week. Issue: I do not like talking on the phone. I do like talking to my family. And since my motion that Viner parents, children and spouses move to the Twin Cities didn't carry, I will talk on the phone more often. Perhaps I'll get used to it and then grow to like it. Like eating broccoli. I put broccoli in my fruit smoothies now; too much makes them taste kind of odd but a reasonable serving goes unnoticed. Broccoli is also good when dipped in mayonnaise. One of the few sanctioned uses for mayonnaise.