Monday, February 27, 2012

Liar!!!!

A couple days a go I went to the mall to get a manicure and suddenly found I had told about 5 lies in as many minutes.
I was in a hurry to get home and sit on the couch so when one of the people in there said, 'what you want' and I said 'a manicure' and she said '10 minute', I said, 'Oh ok, never mind, I'm kind of in a rush.'
There was some flurry of activity and chatter and another woman came up and said, 'I do you now, you sit here.'

Usually the people in these drop-in places never talk to you. Other than to tell you to pick out a color if you seem lost. But the woman I had was friendly and chatty.

'Why are you in a hurry?'

'Umm actually I just want to get home and watch my DVRd episode of The Good Wife'

Obviously not going to say that.

'I'm going to meet my parents'

'Do they live in town?'

Panic.

'Ummm, no, they're flying in.'

'Where are they from?'

'Omaha'

'What are you going to do with them?'

'I think we're going to go out to eat and see a movie. They really like the TCs so we have some sight seeing planned for tomorrow, probably the Art Institute and maybe some shopping. We also have family in the area so I'm sure we'll get together with them and maybe go to a pet store because my aunt wants to find a puppy. My mom and I usually go for a walk and out for coffee when they come and ......

*sigh*

After my nails I went to Banana to see if there was anything good. When I walked out there was a guy from the nail place walking down the hallway. He absolutely gave me a half glare. 'Yeah, you're clearly in a hurry you pushy ..... '

Friday, February 3, 2012

Stuff I do not like

After a few posts with compilations of stuff I DO like, is it too negative to do one about stuff I don't? No, it's not.

I state this with confidence because I have impeccable taste and judgement. And there are certain things no one should like.

One: People with overinflated ideas about the importance of their opinions.  Especially regarding taste and judgement.

Just kidding. I'm not one of those people. I don't have impeccable taste and/or judgement.  But I do believe there are things no one should like and have opinions as to what those things are.

One: In case you're still reading. Footwear that is ridiculously ugly yet popular. Namely:

Unless you're a gardener, and IN your garden, or need shapeless slippers that warm your ankles there is really no justification for the appearance of such hideous footwear in daylight. I'm amazed by those with the ability to wear such things and simultaneously make eye contact with others.

Two: There is a muscle in my back that twitches whenever the word 'bubbly' is used for champagne. This is more of a personal preference than a question of taste/judgement so I'm less adamant about this item. But if the phrase 'Break out the bubbly' could be banned, I would vote yes.

Next: huge drink containers. If a modern artist wanted to encapsulate gross excess and disregard for reasonable standards of consumption in an object they might purchase one of these and sell it to a museum. I realize that scenario might sound odd, but it's the only way to bring even a touch of higher thought to such a trashy object.


Seven: Modern art that consists of taking an object and attaching extraneous meaning to it.

Finally: Terrible sitcom comedies.  The popularity of 'Two and a Half Men' is one of the greatest obstacles to faith in humanity. When you add the inappropriately long run of 'King of Queens' it's not unreasonable to start crying.